A guest post from our dear friend, Eric M:Isn’t that a pretentious title? It’s just four words but it implies something like “I have gone through an experience that has changed me, given me a new perspective. I’ve had a rebirth and am looking at the world clearly, as if for the first time.”
But, no, what I really mean is that I’m learning to see again.
See, (haha) I just turned 43 a few weeks ago and I finally was able to come out as a person who needs glasses. There. I said it. I am not ashamed. My goal is to reclaim the term Four-Eyes to empower my bespectacled brethren.
And not just glasses, but glasses with progressive lenses, which is a fancy way of saying that I have bifocals, while implying that I’m a forward-thinking, hybrid-driving Obama-voting kind of guy. Which begs the question, “Do Republicans wear progressive lenses?”
But I digress.
What the title really means is that I’m literally learning to see again. Everything is so, well, crisp. Sharp. The budding leaves are so detailed! So is the garbage in the street, so it’s a mixed blessing.
Because I have the hybrid/Obama lenses (in which the lower part magnifies everything), the ground mysteriously feels like it’s about a foot higher than it used to be. I found this out the hard way when on Saturday an hour after picking up my glasses. I met some friends for a matinee of Iron Man and nearly tumbled into the laps of several nonplussed 12-year-olds while I was trying to negotiate the aisle.
So, there you have it. No great self-revelation. I’m just another 40-something simultaneously feeling that I have never seen so clearly, but also a bit unsure of my footing.
Now, can anyone tell me if I dare to eat a peach?
Eric M.
10 comments:
Welcome to the club. As wonderful as it is to see clearly again, my glasses continue to be a poor substitute for the excellent vision I took for granted until my early 40s.
In addition to bringing YOUR height more in line with normal people, you may also perceive that shelves aren't exactly where they used to be and more head-bobbing and neck-twisting is necessary to put your lens' sweet-spots where you need them.
All a small price to pay to watch the world go by ... and see your friends clearly.
Now, have I told you about my knees?
phil
Try this: On the 19th/20th, if the full moon is hanging especially low and lovely in the sky, look at it with and then without your glasses.
It quadruples in size from one to the other.
It's like your own private magic trick. Stunning.
Wow. Such a lovely post, I'm unable to make a smart-aleck reply.
I've heard from others that your new specs are completely adorable and I look forward to seeing them in person.
Did you get the anti-reflective coating too? I did. The opticalfittingperson told me that it was really only requested by TV newscasters (AKA meatpuppets) but then I had a very suspicious client who wanted me to keep my glasses off whilst therapizing because she needed to see my eyes at all times, so I added the non-glare stuff.
I like wearing glasses. I like that my eyes feel a little bit protected from the world behind the lenses. And since I wear them pretty much all the time, I believe I should have several pairs so that I have several different appearance accents. Actually, I can tell I'm going to need another such accent soon.
I have a PhD in rationalizations. See me after class if you need help with this.
And yes, certainly, eat a peach. Whilst wearing white flannel trousers, and walking upon the beach, and listening to the Allman Brothers.
What do these people have in common? Lisa Loeb, Tina Fey, Penelope Cruz, Dutch Crown Princess Maxima, ex-Paris BFF Kimberley Stewart, and Eric M?
Hint: It has nothing to do with words containing “lab” or “lip.”
For the answer:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=491224&in_page_id=1770
I heard a news report not too long ago pointing out all the celebrities who are now embracing their faces as fashion possible, and thus flaunting their specs. One of the chic young models slash glasses wearers that they interviewed said when asked why she wore glasses (and I am surely misquoting here): “Sometimes people think that models are “dumb.” But glasses make you look, like, smarter!”
I must also report that several of my hip students who do not need corrective lenswear have purchased frames with clear glass and wear them as fashion accessories.
Although I am wearing my very own (alas, nonprogressive) glasses in your honor, Eric, as I type this, they won’t be worn outside the house.
You are definitely the coolest cat, now.
Phil: Yes, I am quickly discovering that sweet spot, and am finding that I have to turn my head squarely at the person I'm talking to in order to see them clearly. Does this mean the end of sideways glances for me? And will I have to soon see a chiropractor for neck-related strain?
Ann: Oh! I am excited about the moon trick! And thanks for the super-positive reinforcement about being like certain cool celebrities and trend-setting school kids. Even though you don't know me, you have somehow figured out that I am actually shallow enough to be pleased by that. Your glasses must have extra special lenses to be able to see through me so easily. :)
Deb/le-s.b.: Yes, I have the anti-reflective coating. At the place I went to (Specs) they don't even ask if you want it--they just assume. Because of that, the progressive lenses, and my selection of a Danish-designed frame that was built in Japan (oh, and custom-made, polarized sunglass clips that are really neat) the cost of seeing the leaves clearly is so high that I will not be speaking with anything but a Danish/Japanese accent for a long time.
Ooooh, since you have the polarized sunglass clip-ons, here's another really cool trick for you: sit down at a laptop with your sunglasses on and tip your head from side to side (i.e. right ear to right shoulder) and see what happens. I'm not even gonna reveal the result. You know. Members Only and all that. :)
I am going to trust that this blog is a Safe Place and make myself vulnerable to all of you by admitting ignorance: I don't get the relationship between wearing glasses and eating peaches.
I assumed it was some American pop culture reference that I missed out on because I am abroad (as opposed being a broad, which I am sometimes as, as well). But I just asked Ann, and she says she didn't get it either.
She told me to let her know when I figure it out, so I'm asking you for help. Be gentle.
Stephanie
Mais oui--definitely a safe space. :)
I was attempting to allude to Eliot's Prufrock, who is whining about getting older and becomes paralyzed by it. He's navel-gazing about his age, and wonders aloud if he should change his appearance to make himself look younger:
I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
So I guess I was trying to be both clever and self-deprecating at the same time. But if I have to explain myself then I haven't done a very good job as a blogger, have I?
Maybe I should have written something more current, like:
Shall I wear a scraggly beard? Do I dare to send a text?
I shall wear a newsboy cap and ride my fixie down the street.
I have seen the go-go boys dancing, each to each.
I do not think they will dance for me.
Boy, am I ever glad this is a safe place, or I'd be awfully embarrassed right now.
Ann and I thank you for the explanation! I think you've done a beautiful job of expressing yourself as a blogger. It's just that the French bit of your audience is not as erudite as you. :-(
However it is inexcusable that I didn't catch the allusion, having taught Prufrock a few times in my life.
I shall punish myself by not going to work today. Instead, I shall drive my mother to Minneapolis for lunch at Restaurant Alma and shopping at the new Crate and Barrel in Galleria.
That should be sufficient flagellation.
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