Those of you who are bossy should tell me what to do. I had Anxiety about My Path today. Prof K was reassuring and helpful. A beer has since helped.
Here's what I do know (and Prof K said I should spend a few days reveling in this realization, because it's huge; but sometimes I don't believe her, because she's really smart): I want to teach at the college level, in music, but in a way that is truly interdisciplinary, that involves writing, and that bridges the intellectual gap between the music department and the other humanities disciplines on campus (something that rarely, if ever, happens).
I also learned that I should not be thinking about a master's program and then a doctoral program, but a terminal degree, period. Either an MFA, or PhD (a PhD program that would essentially give me the master's en route), or both.
Discuss. But quietly; I have a headache.
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7 comments:
I'm totally behind the idea of picking a terminal degree and making that the goal. If you know what you want to do, then there's no reason to take time off in the middle and break things up. The main thing is to get DONE.
(This from the man who spent seven years at Princeton and only left with an M.A. and 2/3 of a doctoral thesis in hand, but I was only 23 when I started there, and I was clueless.)
I feel we should discuss this further, preferably over cocktails. What do you think?
In this case, I understand that a request for "bossy" is directed at me. Apologies in advance to everyone who wades through this rambling, jargon-filled post. Pretend we’re sitting in comfortable chairs and I'm talking to you.
A year ago, your secret fear (or not so secret) was that you'd drop out before the first fall semester midterms. You thought there was a possibility that you weren't smart enough, or that you were too good at starting things, but not able to finish anything. Kind of amusing to remember, actually. Certainly, this year has shown that you can and will finish. It's become an obviosity.
How lucky is it that you registered for Prof K's class in your first semester? Studying with her - mastering the rigors of her class - it just moved you into a different category. It’s no surprise that a high quality conversation with her earlier today has flung you into a new orbit.
You probably know I'm not a believer in the idea that there are no accidents, or that you were *destined* to study with her at this point in your life, or that this has been God's plan for you all along. On the other hand, I love the Buddhist proverb "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear." That fits here.
They told us in my shrink school program that they operated with an adult learner model. Adult learners don’t really need to be told what to study. They know what they want to learn next, and they go out and find it for themselves.
You’re on the front end of this collaborative research project, and I think you can’t know yet what you’re going to learn from it. You can only know that there will be huge learning.
I have impaired objectivity about the terminal degree thing. The gravitational pull of it was so strong, it trumped many kinds of misery for me. I thought about dropping out Every Single Day that I was in school, but now, on this end, I’m simply delighted with those letters after my name.
I think it’s an obviosity that you should pursue a terminal degree. I would like us to be able to call each other doctor, even if we can’t write prescriptions. The big question here isn’t *if* you should do it, but which path it should be. What program, what department, what school. Is there a career path for a doctorate in self-directed studies? A PhD in Interdisciplinary Bandwidth?
You once said you were going to take a ballet class, and would be able to accompany yourself on the piano, while writing the review. I guess now’s the time to do that.
PS I think the headache was from the beer. But then, I would.
Why would you doubt Prof K?
Haven't you learned the benefits of listening to smart women?
PhD sounds good to me.
And while I don't believe in destiny like Deb does, I do think it is usually right to listen to what smart women tell you to do.
I just reread the well-intentioned garble that I typed last night. For clarity, I don't believe in destiny. I don't believe there is a grand plan for each of us. I think there are lots and lots of accidents and that life is pretty random. (see: dependent arising and the unlocatable self)
I like to try to be kind, and I like to try to do the next right thing, and I'm only intermittently semi-successful at those.
I'll shut up now.
Aha.
I was watching Oprah today (a rarity). Her guests were all connected to that book "The Secret." Now, according to Oprah, what you need to do is purchase a large bulletin board. No, there are no darts involved. Hang up a picture of a PhD diploma and maybe a registration book description of the cool class you want to teach someday alongside a picture of yourself finishing the marathon (photoshop for now?) and so on, and so on, and your "intention" will bring it all to pass.
I plan to photocopy a Newbery Award seal and stick it up next to that photo of Michael Phelps that eWac posted a few days ago... And maybe I'll add a drawing of a tomato plant that isn't plastered to the ground from all the wind and rain lately.
The thing I know about teaching at the collegiate level is that it's usually a good idea to have the terminal degree, and if you know you want that why dink around? However, then you have to pick a field, and who wants to do all that deciding?
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