So I'm sitting in the lecture hall before our biodiversity test, minding everyone else's business, when I notice that the woman in front of me has on her desk—along with her No. 2 pencil, eraser, and coffee—an oddity: a yellow bell pepper. Surely this isn't a snack? I wonder. Maybe it's some sort of pre-test ritual; or perhaps she has Salad 101 right after this class. Anyhoo. The exam is distributed, I get to work and forget about the produce until—CRUNCH—Pepper Gal starts chomping away, eating the stir fry ingredient as though it were a ripe juicy apple. I want to remain the open-minded, easygoing guy you've come to know and love, but is this what passes for snack food nowadays? Is she normal? Am I?