Today I commuted to campus and back, twice. I participated in four and a half hours of class (and I'm no passive class participant; I take copious notes, look things up, underline, and am active in discussion). I did several hours of work, reviewing and transferring corrections to some music proofs. I read 100+ pages of Oliver Twist. All told, I've been awake for about 15 hours, and 12 of those have been "work". Not an extraordinary day by any measure, but a solid day.
But I've done it all with a migraine. Two doses of Imitrex, the migraine miracle drug, haven't touched it (one dose usually does the trick in about 20 minutes). This hasn't been a debilitating, crawl-under-the-covers-in-a-fetal-position kind of headache, though I get those, too. Rather, it's been slow and steady, just lurking in the background, like a mosquito that follows you on a walk around Lake Calhoun. At several points during the day I've thought how nice it would be if I could pluck out my left eye; I'm almost certain it would make my life better.
People live with much more pain than I have, and many of you had crappier days than I did (I actually accomplished a great deal). A recent entry on a New York Times blog provides an interesting perspective on living with migraines. I've grown accustomed to some people being suspicious of their existence, or to thinking that those of us who get them should just suck it up. I'm also starting to understand that my migraines are part of the fabric of me, and that they're a physical manifestation of a sometimes emotional or psychological trigger. Sometimes I can bring my migraine along with me for the day; other times I have to give in, lie down, and wait. I can live with that. Some people live with worse.
4 comments:
Ugh, I know this scene all too well. Sorry to hear about your rough day. Migraines just plain suck. Mine are always in my left temple or across my forehead.
When they get really bad, I often imagine drilling a hole in my temple so the pain can drain out, but I don't think that's a medically sound practice.
It really sucks when the Imitrex (or Maxalt or Replax, all of which I use) doesn't do the trick.
I hope you're feeling better today!
(long. apologies. only the other migraine people will be able to read through it all.)
Yes.
I organize my life around preventing or managing my way through migraines. I'm full of theories about what caused each migraine, hoping to put together the magic combination of factors that will prevent the next one.
A migraine is a "unilateral headache accompanied by at least one associated symptom." Light sensitivity. Sound sensitivity. Weird visual phenomena. Parasthesias. Or, in my case, nausea and vomiting. A lot of vomiting.
I read everything I can get my hands on about migraines. There was a large, well done study a few years ago that said the three triggers that are the best predictors of a migraine are:
1. alteration in sleep schedule. missing sleep. oversleeping. changing the time you go to bed and get out of bed.
2. alteration in meal schedule. particularly missing a meal or eating on an erratic schedule.
3. emotion and stress
The study acknowledged that there are many idiosyncratic factors that might affect an individual, and that those are real.
This is the main reason why I want to be in charge of barometric pressure and am obsessed with dewpoint.
The particular bane of my existence has always been what I think of as a "let-down" migraine. The chemicals of stress, particularly adrenaline, seem to keep the headache away. When I finally, genuinely relax and the adrenaline drops, a migraine floods in and torpedoes my life. For many many years, when we went on vacation, we just knew there would be one day that was lost while I stayed in the dark hotel room, barfing. I've had more Saturday migraines than I can even begin to count.
The very worst migraines have been after exercise, exertion and getting over-heated. The only time I ever tried roller blading was a hot summer afternoon. I noticed some head pain, and when we got in the car to go home, the migraine exploded. And then I barfed into the air conditioning ducts of Phil's car.
C. Everett Koop was the surgeon general during the Reagan years (an otherwise very problematic administration, but that's fodder for another post). Dr. Koop is a migraineur, and he worked seven days a week, six or seven hours a day. In that way he prevented let-down migraines.
I like your words that some days you can bring the migraine along with you for the day. Such a good description. On those days, I actually appreciate the distraction of doing therapy. Or, more correctly, sitting in the chair and looking like I'm doing therapy. But of course there are the other times when I'm useless, unable to get on top of it, unable to initiate any effective action at all. The time is taken from me and there is nothing that can change that.
The worst years were the years before Imitrex, when I worked at The Bad Place and I was angry all the time. All. The. Time. It helps that I have a really good boss now.
I think Imitrex has changed the baseline, or threshold for getting migraines, and I have much more ability to reliably stay in my life than I used to have. Imitrex is the drug I would rob pharmacies for. I hang onto the idea that if I can live at a medium, sustainable pace, I'm likelier to avoid a migraine.
But of course most of my beloved theories are voodoo, because migraines have a life of their own, completely independent of my careful plans for myself.
I had about 1/3 of a migraine yesterday (left eye), and decided I could make it through the day without Imitrex, because the other symptoms weren't accumulating. I couldn't figure out what *caused* it though, until I read your post.
I understand now that your migraine spilled over into my left eye, and I don't want you to ever let that happen again, OK?
That mightily sucks.
I don't live with migraines but I do live NEAR them. I find garden-variety tension headaches debilitating enough.
Next time somebody seems to be dissing your migraine ... poke 'em in the eye and tell THEM to "suck it up!"
phil
I’ve always known that my own migraines were blessed. See, I only get them 3-4 times a year, and they run a completely predictable, less than monstrous course. No eye gouging or kneeling before the porcelain.
I’m one of the “weird visual phenomena” migraine people. First, I notice a fuzzy spot in my vision. Then the fuzzy spot grows. You know how, when you stand up too quickly, your head clouds for a few seconds? Imagine that for a half hour.
If I’m driving, I pull over and wait it out. If it’s Saturday, I go back to bed, and wait it out. But if I’m teaching, I cross my fingers and keep going.
The thing is, I can’t read while it’s happening, nor can I “see” what’s straight out in front of me, like students’ faces. So teaching – English especially – is a bit tricky. The kids are super nice, though, when they know you are going through something. My theory is that teens are pretty much constantly “going through” their own crises, so they commiserate.
After thirty minutes, it fades. In high school, I would have dull residual headaches, easily alleviated by over the counter pain meds. These days, I don’t get the final headache, though I do feel unusually thickish for about half a day.
So, as I said, when it comes to migraines, I am LUCKY. Knowing how arbitrarily they strike, I would never discount someone else’s migraine experience. I’m amazed you accomplished so much, Scott.
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