Does this mean parachute pants are making a comeback, too?
I so disagree with Susan Olson, who says: "Zubaz have to be the most disgusting piece of apparel ever designed for men, even below that bad benchmark of men's clothing, the Speedo. Zubaz are now, and always have been, a major turnoff.... They just scream 'lazy.'"
Yes, Zubaz are disgusting, but to compare them to the Speedo? That's just wrong. When worn on the right male (or the left), there's nothing like a man in a Speedo. When do you hear that about a man in a pair of Zubaz?
Once again, Eric and I are in agreement, in this case about the Speedo. (Admittedly, there are some points on which I am from Minneapolis and Eric is from Alpha Centuri 9, but hey, I'm OK, You're OK.)
I digress.
The worst, the worst, the worst, is sagging. Worse than Zubaz or zebra stripes or flannel pajamas on students or parachute pants or circle-stitched bras or secret Mormon underwear.
Zubaz first became popular while I was in France in 1988. I should have known I couldn't leave the U.S. again for so long without terrible things happening. First the war in Iraq, now the return of Zubaz.
It's clearly time for me to move home and whip the country back into shape!
To date, Customs has primarily been interested in whether I have any Kinder chocolate eggs in my posession when I enter the U.S. (I always lie and say "no". That's just the kind of subversive I am.) I hope the pressure of re-entering as the Savior of My Nation doesn't cause me to crack under their interrogation!
My estimated return date is on or before June 30. Until then, be strong: wear only solid-colored pants with an actual fly, and have Deb check for Sagging.
And until June 30, I have much work to do in France, as well: last week, I saw a fashion show here which recommended that men wear white leather dress shoes with dark dress pants. Please keep my adopted country in your prayers in this time of need.
With full apologies to Eric and Deb, I must admit I agree with Susan Olson on the Speedo. Too much risk of distraction by odd hair patterns (in intimate places). That is, for the traditional "skimpy" Speedo suit.
Now those cute little (just as tight) swim trucks called "square leg" or the longer "jammers" I can appreciate in an appropriately distracting manner.
8 comments:
Does this mean parachute pants are making a comeback, too?
I so disagree with Susan Olson, who says: "Zubaz have to be the most disgusting piece of apparel ever designed for men, even below that bad benchmark of men's clothing, the Speedo. Zubaz are now, and always have been, a major turnoff.... They just scream 'lazy.'"
Yes, Zubaz are disgusting, but to compare them to the Speedo? That's just wrong. When worn on the right male (or the left), there's nothing like a man in a Speedo. When do you hear that about a man in a pair of Zubaz?
Once again, Eric and I are in agreement, in this case about the Speedo. (Admittedly, there are some points on which I am from Minneapolis and Eric is from Alpha Centuri 9, but hey, I'm OK, You're OK.)
I digress.
The worst, the worst, the worst, is sagging. Worse than Zubaz or zebra stripes or flannel pajamas on students or parachute pants or circle-stitched bras or secret Mormon underwear.
Sagging is The Worst.
I blame myself.
Zubaz first became popular while I was in France in 1988. I should have known I couldn't leave the U.S. again for so long without terrible things happening. First the war in Iraq, now the return of Zubaz.
It's clearly time for me to move home and whip the country back into shape!
Stephanie -
We don't blame you ... but, if it's in your power, please come back and save us!
I think you get your handbasket at Customs.
phil
To date, Customs has primarily been interested in whether I have any Kinder chocolate eggs in my posession when I enter the U.S. (I always lie and say "no". That's just the kind of subversive I am.) I hope the pressure of re-entering as the Savior of My Nation doesn't cause me to crack under their interrogation!
My estimated return date is on or before June 30. Until then, be strong: wear only solid-colored pants with an actual fly, and have Deb check for Sagging.
And until June 30, I have much work to do in France, as well: last week, I saw a fashion show here which recommended that men wear white leather dress shoes with dark dress pants. Please keep my adopted country in your prayers in this time of need.
With full apologies to Eric and Deb, I must admit I agree with Susan Olson on the Speedo. Too much risk of distraction by odd hair patterns (in intimate places). That is, for the traditional "skimpy" Speedo suit.
Now those cute little (just as tight) swim trucks called "square leg" or the longer "jammers" I can appreciate in an appropriately distracting manner.
And now we see the real reason Eric likes to go to swim practice with all those buff triathletes.
It's the only reason I swim with you, Tom.
Post a Comment